Apr 3, 2025 | Top 5 List |
1- MMMM tastes like humus!
2- If only Melania could see me now… she would so be joining in… we could have a race to the top:)
3- My back hurts less when I kiss his a$$
4- Almost as fun as when I tongue Ivanka’s feet… nothing like daddy/daughter bonding
5- Maybe he’ll let me paint his toe nails when I’m done here
Mar 28, 2025 | 5 Things To Do |
Let’s get rid of the holidays that didn’t do anything for us… what wastes!
1 — Martin Luther King day – We used to have Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays as two separate holidays and because of MLK we have to have Presidents Day and he get’s his own day. just another example of DEI… it isn’t like he built our country or put it back together, but he gets his own day. And besides, I like people who are smart enough not to get shot to have their own holiday.
2 — Juneteenth… Huh? So Black people want a day off in June? Just another handout…. get back to work!
3 — Arbor Day — What did a tree ever do for me, but they get their own holiday…. STUPID
4 — Earth Day! — How about we switch it up and celebrate with the earth can do for us. NOTE: Rename it “Drill baby drill” day.
5 — Labor Day? — what the hell do we pay them for? Get back to work.
Mar 12, 2025 | 5 Things I Did Last Week |
- Launched Space X Starship – which failed and sent burning debris into the ocean while shutting down air space in Florida.
- Called Astronaut, Veteran and Senator Mark Kelly a traitor.
- Tanked Tesla stock – but got Trump to buy one. He even let me turn the White House lawn into a Tesla showcase! It was a little scary to be out in the open, even wearing a Kevlar vest, surrounded by secret service and a press pool that is Trump-friendly. Just in case, I used my kid as a human shield. He moves quick, it wasn’t easy to stay behind him.
- To save the taxpayers, I fired more federal workers who do nothing but feed the parasites.
- Lost $25 Billion in Net Worth on Monday. But that’s okay, I’ve got more than $78 billion in government contracts.
Mar 12, 2025 | 5 Things I Did Last Week |
1 – Tell people that jobs are coming back and used a new Honda plant in Indiana. I hope nobody at Honda is listening because I just made it up
2 – Make false claims on how much DOGE is saving the US
3 – Rename DOGE… such a stupid name… sounds too much like dodgey which I guess is actually what it is, but don’t tell anyone… shhh.
4 – Keep telling people that getting rid of environmental restrictions will make us safer. We’ll just keep saying it and close the EPA… nobody will be upset about stuff they don’t know about.
5 – Blame the bird flu on Biden and the high cost of eggs
Summary: 99 minutes… that’s almost an hour and a half… I just love giving speeches… it is so true that the sound of my own voice makes America great again.